For a long time, Katie Couric and Jennifer Anniston were
women Peter lusted after.  I guess that
was OK as I was pretty interested in Jake Gyllenhaal and Javier Bardim.  Of course, the odds of either one of us being
replaced by each other’s crushes were zero.

But lately, when I have trouble getting Peter’s attention,
it’s more likely to be because of an inanimate object.  In no particular order, The Economist, the GPS lady, and The New York Times crossword puzzle vie for his attention.

Unlike Katie and Jennifer, they’re always around and
available.

Just like me.